What my fridge says about me (it’s pretty darn freaky!)
How many of you have peeked inside your date’s medicine cabinet?
Obviously we all have. But — check this out. There is a better way.
What you are about to read (and see) is 100% accurate. INCLUDING the state of my fridge. Ask my mother, I’m a hot mess.
This part didn’t make it into article — but you can find HERE — his personal analysis of MY fridge. Get ready. It’s pretty insane. And turns out – I’m not as insane as I thought. Which makes me downright normal. Be scared.
“Here’s what Aly’s fridge tells me…
I’ve never seen this much milk outside a pediatric unit, but we’ll get into that shortly.”
HEY. I LIKE SHAKES, OK?!
“Overall, I like what I see. Aly is healthy, though she’s not obsessive about it. I dig a balance and Aly’s got it. Her big-ass jug of Naked Green Machine is perfect to fuel those workouts, water for on the go and confections to enjoy along the way.”
“She has Chobani to support a healthy diet, Coke Zero to limit calories where she can and veggie burgers to keep her on the slim side of town. And if our gym teacher taught us one thing, it’s this: healthy diet + exercise = one saucy set.”
WELL, I AM SAUCY. AGREED.
“I also can see Aly is a working professional. I have to assume one of those milks is for coffee to keep her sharp and on the go. (And I’m glad to see neither is whole milk, a major red flag).”
ACTUALLY THEY ARE ALL FOR COFFEE. I JUST CAN’T STOP DRINKING IT.
“Sticking to the work front, Aly seems financially sound. If she was on a super tight budget, she wouldn’t buy only name brands over generic or expensive high-end items such as Naked and ChristinEats.She’s not flying first class yet, as her fridge is flying coach, but she’s clearly moving up. Most guys aren’t going out of their way to find a rich girl, but they do like to know a girl is comfortable and self-sufficient, as well as a woman who is building a career. (Go Aly :)”
“Aly is ready to make a meal when needed, but with her arsenal of condiments, she’s more about restaurants and takeout. When single, it’s vital to put yourself out there. Though it’s key to think positive, George Clooney dressed as the UPS Man won’t be banging down your door any times soon.”
“Here are a few other fridge items that stick out to me…
Aly drinks. “I love a girl who can enjoy a glass of wine after work and Aly is prepared. There are no universal rights and wrongs when it comes to dating, just what’s right and wrong for us. As the majority of dating, at least for the first few months, revolves around eating and drinking, I wouldn’t be a great match with a woman who’s sober. Now, I’m not saying a party girl is a plus either. It’s about finding a balance, like all aspects of life. If you drink and don’t enjoy drinking alone, it’s just something to consider as you look for the right partner.”
HELL, YES I DO.
Aly eats meat. “As I like to stress, nothing is black and white, but I do find a correlation between one’s love of banging and one’s love of beef. Yes, many Vegans love to shag, too. It’s just that food is one of the joys of life and if one denies themselves the joy of food, they tend to be deny themselves in other aspects of life as well.”
GIVE ME ALL YOUR CHEESEBURGERS.
Aly is a Girl Next Door. “Though it takes us longer to appreciate, men love the girl next door. Yes, Veronica might be hot, but she’s a spoiled pain in the ass. Betty is for keeps. A GND, can enjoy a beer and a burger. She can appreciate the finer things in life as well as hot wings while watching the game. Aly’s fridge has Negra Modelo, one of the best beers out of Mexico and the condiments perfect for grilling, wings and more. Plus, she’s got wine and luxe items that ladies love.”
SEE? LOVE ME.
“Aly’s Fridge is a bit frazzled. Where Aly can use a little work is in her fridge organization. Lets be frank: it’s a bit of a shit show. Some food item is not happy in that tinfoil. Tupperware doesn’t need to live inside bigger Tupperware. Your freezer shouldn’t be a competition of who can get out first. By no means does this fridge tell me you’re wackypack. But it could clearly use some TLC. A tad of chaos in your fridge usually means a tad of chaos in your life.”
ALL TRUE. Sorry, mom.
Here’s John’s final Fridge Dating Scorecard for my fridge:
Bang on First Date: 7
“Aly’s got the wine, beer and munchies needed to loosen up at home and grease the rails to Saucy Town. Aly does though have a touch of the Girl Next Door, and with that many guy friends in her life, she’s probably been advised to hold off on banging til at least the 2nd date.’
“I see a well-rounded woman here, which most of us look for in a partner. She eats meat, but she’s also healthy. She drinks, but she’s not a basket case. She works and is building a career, yet finds time to smell the roses along the way. This is a woman I’d be happy to set up my buddies with.”
Boil Your Bunny: 3.5
“I don’t see anything in this fridge that screams obsessive. Her fridge can use a good cleaning and her lack of organization probably means she’s a bit frazzled in life. By no means would I lock up your pets around her, but her lack of cleanliness does bump her up the BYB scale a bit.”
Read my HowAboutWe story here.